🔗 Share this article

Sometimes, a 22-year-old from Los Angeles is convinced he is “the most exceptional individual alive”. As a diagnosed narcissist, his grandiose moments often turn “highly unrealistic”, he admits. You feel invincible and you think, ‘The world will recognize that I stand above others … I’m destined for greatness for the world’.”

Regarding his experience, these phases of exaggerated self-worth are usually succeeded by a “crash”, during which he feels sensitive and embarrassed about his behavior, rendering him particularly vulnerable to criticism from others. He began to think he might have NPD after researching his symptoms online – and eventually confirmed by a specialist. However, he is skeptical he would have agreed with the assessment if he hadn’t previously arrived at that understanding by himself. When someone suggests to somebody that they have this disorder, {they’ll probably deny it|denial is a common response|they’re likely to reject it,” he says – particularly if they feel a sense of being better. They inhabit a fantasy reality that they’ve constructed. And within that framework, I am superior and {nobody can question me|no one should doubt me|my authority is absolute.”

Defining NPD

Although people have been called narcissists for decades, it’s not always clear what people refer to as the term. “Everyone calls everybody a narcissist,” explains a leading researcher, noting the word is “used more than it should be” – but when it comes to a formal diagnosis, he notes many people hide it, because of widespread prejudice around the illness. A narcissist will tend to have “a heightened sense of self”, “impaired compassion”, and “a pattern of manipulating others to bolster one’s self-esteem through things like displaying material goods,” the specialist explains. Those with NPD may be “highly self-focused”, to the point that {“they’re not able to hold down stable relationships|“their jobs are damaged|“they have a distorted view of reality,” he emphasizes.

Emotional connections were never important about anyone really, so I didn’t invest in relationships seriously

Sex-Based Distinctions in Narcissism

While three-quarters of people found to have NPD are males, studies points out this number does not mean there are a lower rate among women, but that women with NPD is typically appears in the less obvious variety, which is less commonly diagnosed. Male narcissism tends to be more socially permissible, similar to everything in society,” says a 23-year-old who shares content on her NPD and borderline personality disorder (BPD) on digital platforms. It is not uncommon, the two disorders are comorbid.

Individual Challenges

I find it difficult with handling criticism and not being accepted,” she says, since when I’m told that the issue lies with me, I often enter self-protection or I completely shut down.” Despite having this reaction – which is often called “narcissistic injury”, she has been working to manage it and take advice from her close relationships, as she doesn’t want to slip into the negative conduct of her previous life. “I was very emotionally abusive to my partners in my youth,” she reveals. With professional help, she has been able to mitigate her NPD symptoms, and she notes she and her partner “have a dynamic where I’ve instructed him, ‘Should I make a harmful comment, if I say something manipulative, point it out {right then and there|immediately|in the moment’.”

She grew up primarily in the care of her father and explains there was an absence of positive role models during development. I’ve had to teach myself continuously which behaviors are suitable or harmful to say when arguing because I never had that as a kid,” she says. There were no boundaries when my household were belittling me during my childhood.”

Underlying Factors of NPD

Conditions like NPD tend to be associated with early life adversity. “There is a genetic component,” says a mental health specialist. But, when someone exhibits NPD characteristics, it is often “linked to that individual’s particular early environment”. Those traits were “a coping mechanism in some ways to survive at a very early age”, he continues, when they may have been overlooked, or only shown love that was conditional on meeting specific standards. They then “continue to use those familiar tactics as adults”.

In common with many of the NPD-diagnosed people, a person from Leeds thinks his parents “could also have the disorder. The individual explains when he was a child, “everything was all about them and their work and their social life. So it was like, keep your distance.” When their they engaged with him, it came in the form of “significant demands to achieve academic success and life achievements, he says, which made him feel that if he didn’t fulfill their expectations, he wasn’t “good enough”.

When he became an adult, none of his relationships lasted. I didn’t truly value about anyone really,” he admits. Therefore, I never treated relationships seriously.” He believed he wasn’t loving someone, until he met his present significant other of three years, who is also dealing with a personality disorder, so, in a comparable situation, finds it hard to manage feelings. She is “really understanding of the stuff that goes on in my head”, he says – it was actually she who first suspected he might have NPD.

Seeking Help

Following an appointment to his GP, an assessment was arranged to a mental health professional for an diagnosis and was given the NPD label. He has been put forward for therapeutic sessions through national services (extended treatment is the primary approach that has been demonstrated to benefit NPD patients, specialists note), but has been on the patient queue for an extended period: The estimate was it is expected around maybe February or March next year.”

Disclosure was limited to a small circle about his mental health status, because “prejudice is common that all narcissists are abusers”, but, privately, he has embraced the diagnosis. “It helps me to understand myself better, which is beneficial,” he explains. Those interviewed have acknowledged their condition and are pursuing treatment for it – which is why they agree to talk about it – which is probably not representative of all people with the diagnosis. But the growth of individuals sharing their stories and the development of digital groups point to {more narcissists|a growing number